Undies Anyone?

My friend Anne requested contributions of embarrassing kid stories. As far as pure embarrasing goes, here's a nice Carson story:

Carson goes to a private Christian school. His 3-K teacher, Mrs. Lavell is pretty, sweet and conservative. The epitome of what every pre-school school teacher should be. One day, I was talking to her before class and Carson was still hanging onto me, trying to get my attention. I continued on in my conversation with Mrs. Lavell, not at all distracted by the fact that Carson had taken to running his hand up and down my leg. At one point, his hand goes from my ankle all the way up my skirted leg and then he stops. And right there in the middle of my conversation, he declares at the top of his lungs, "Momma, you aren't wearing any underwear!"

I tried to smile my most genteel , demure smile and replied, "Carson, honey, I am wearing underwear and you need to use your inside voice."

"No, Momma, I felt your bootie!" (Helllloo, did I not say inside voice.)

At this point, Mrs. Lavell is more than just a little bit interested to see how this plays out and other parents have begun to turn around to see what kind of tramp drops her pre-schooler off without donning undies.

I am now wishing that I knew some kind of magic sleeper ninja-hold that I could use on Carson to get him to stop talking. Short of that, I try to convince his teacher.

"Mrs. Lavell, I can assure you that I am wearing underwear. They are not a conventional type (ewww, I know, TMI, but what was I supposed to say?), but I would never leave the house without underwear. Promise." Big smile, and pray that she doesn't think I am a degenerate.

Mrs. Lavell seemed satisfied with that and quickly shooed Carson into class. With that I hustled my way on out of there and vowed to never wear a skirt again.