Valentines Day was supposed to be the big day. For Dobie's vasectomy that is. Unfortunately, his mother learned that she had breast cancer and would be undergoing surgery herself. So we cancelled the appointment and re-scheduled it for April 15.
So, April 15 is right around the corner and I'm within sniffing distance of a contraception free future, right? Wrong. I panicked. I began to obsess over the fact that if I ever did change my mind about having more kids, there would be no going back. I say this on good authority despite what many a I-45 billboard has to say on the subject. The doctor made it clear, the "area" would be cut, cauterized, tied into knots and then stuffed up somewhere, never to be seen again. Forever,ever,ever........
To make matters worse, I got the kids a teeter totter this week and the first night they had it they stayed on it all night. Laughing, squealing in delight, playing together in perfect sibling harmony. It was a picture of domestic bliss. How much harder could one more be???
Needing to be talked off my reproductive cliff, I called my sister. Let me see if I can remember this correctly. I believe what she said was, and I quote, "What??!!?? - You and Dobie can barely handle the two you have, don't cancel the appointment, you do not need anymore kids". She was, and is absolutely right. I have no business even considering having another child. But, I am just not comfortable making any permanent decisions right now. Emerson is smack in the middle of the terrible two's. She's not even potty trained yet. So she's still alot of work. There is still the outside possibility that she will learn to treat animals humanely and could actually become welcome at people's houses. I am convinced that the only way to make an informed decision about this subject is to wait until she more manageable. More time would give my a little more perspective.
Further exacerbating the situation, is that right now, I am surrounded by pregnant people. My sister in law is due in two months, three of my friends at work are expecting this summer, and the daycare has always got some preggo coming in to check out the place. And because I was one of those freaks who loved being pregnant, I am terribly jealous. I am immersed in all the glowy wonderful pre-baby bliss. What I really need is a big dose of our-baby-has-his-days-and-nights-mixed-up and I-haven't-slept-in-three-days. Maybe a good I-was-walking-out-the-door-and Jr.-projectile-vomitted-on-me. That would help.
In any event, Dobie and I have decided to wait until our next anniversary. We will be 35, Emme will be well into the 3's, and our house projects should be coming to a close. A much more perfect time to make a better decision.
I must be completely nuts.
1 comment:
First, I am so glad you are blogging! I'm thrilled I'll be able to keep up with your sweet family. Second, I am impressed that you even managed to get Dobie to schedule the big "V." While Jeff definitely doesn't want additional children, he hasn't committed to the procedure. However, I do understand your fear of the permanent.
Post a Comment